Step #001 of "How to be a douche bag roommate"
Constantly talk about money.
Talk about how much money you made last week. Tell everyone around you how much your car cost you, and that you're going to buy a new one shortly. Make sure to throw in comments like "I had a bad week, but I still made this much" or "I absolutely had a ridiculous week".
When you go to house warming parties, be sure to ask the new homeowners how much their mortgage payments are, and how much they paid for the house. Then, to top things off, talk about how you don't think they can afford their new home to everyone else at the party. I kid you not, that will make everyone your best friend!
Everytime you purchase something, be sure to tell everyone you got "a great deal." Even if it's on a fast food purchase. Bragging about your great deals makes everyone jealous. And your new pal.
When any of your acquaintances (I say acquaintances, because you don't have any friends) purchases something new (ie. jeans / car / dinner), be sure to be the first one to ask how much they paid for it. Everyone love telling the world how much they paid for their new car! Just ask - they won't mind!
Let me remind you that this blog will be full of 100% true stories. I write in a sarcastic manner and it may take a post or two for me to finalize how I want to tell these stories. Bear with me, I'll find a way to bring out the douche-ness in the roommates.
